****WARNING! THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR THOSE WITH A WEAK CONSTITUTION****
This blog is called A Tale of Two Beached Whales for a reason. We are
two ladies looking to lose the blubber that has accumulated over the
years. Our hope is to amuse, encourage, and vent the frustrations that
will surely rise to the surface during our journey. While we are
serious about making these lifestyle changes with the hope of achieving
better health, we have a sense of humor that some may not appreciate or
understand but it is not our intent to belittle or deride ourselves or
others. This blog will be an exercise in chronicling the ups and downs
of changing bad habits and focusing of self-care. Also, please note, we are very sarcastic, kinda bitchy, with a dash of judgey (I know it's not a real word, but this is my blog and on here it's a word, a real word). Hey it happens when your chubby, so deal with it.
So there we were, walking up the path to our beach. You know, OUR BEACH. Suddenly, we spied an interloper. Who on earth has the unremitting gall to intrude on OUR BEACH? The first of many intruders has reared it unwanted and ugly face on OUR BEACH!!! Tourist season is upon us. That is a small matter though because we are two ladies on a mission. We are ready to get our flukes wet! We are in search of our inner mermaid. We still aren't quite sure if we just swallowed her accidentally or if she somehow just got trapped and lost under a thick layer of blubber. Either way, we have got in touch with our inner echo location devices (from the dolphins we may or may not have swallowed) and we will find that mermaid and she will love us like Augustus Gloop in the chocolate factory.
I am certain (because I tend to be a tad paranoid) that the locals will video us someday without our knowledge and we will end up on YouTube while the videographer snickers his/her head off at the Two Beached Whales frolicking in the surf. What looks like serious swimming to us probably appears to be more like the flailing and thrashing of cetaceans in mortal distress. No matter, we are out there moving, when we could be inside couch potatoing and growing paler by the day. Braving the ocean and all it's perils daily we will grow stronger, more streamlined, and more hydrodynamic, kinda more dolphin like than whale like. Everyone loves a dolphin. Dolphins are so bloody cute and they have that little giggle noise they make that makes people smile without even realizing it. So, why do we swim in the ocean? Well, we will get into that next time. Bahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! That's right, I'm an evil whale.
